RELATIONSHIP STATUS :
VERY RELIEVED SOCKS CAN’T GET PREGNANT
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS :
VERY RELIEVED SOCKS CAN’T GET PREGNANT

Me: “I am here to ask for your daughters hand”
Her dad: why?
Me: “cause I’m tired of using mine”

MY WIFE PAID OFF OUR HOUSE AND VEHICLES WITH HER ONLY FANS ACCOUNT.
SHE’S GONNA FREAK WHEN SHE FINDS OUT SHE HAS AN ONLY FANS ACCOUNT.

If a Woman Needs It, Should She Be Spanked?
[Today’s question by Herman Merlin, 125 Broad St. New York 4, N. Y.]
MIGUEL MATOS, Brooklyn, counterman: “Why not? If they don’t know how to behave by the time they’re adults, they should be treated like children and spanked. That ought to make them grow up in a hurry. If it doesn’t at first, they’ll soon get the idea.”
FRANK DESIDERIO, Brooklyn, barber: “Yes, when they deserve it. As a barber, I’ve got a lot of faith in the hairbrush. I think there are certain cases when it is advisable. When it is, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t go right ahead and do it. I can’t knock the idea. In my business, a man sets a lot of store by the results he can get with a hairbrush properly applied.”
TEDDY GALLEI, Brooklyn, parking lot attendant: “You bet. It teaches them who’s boss. A lot of women tend to forget this is a man’s world and a lot of men who stepped down as boss of a family wish they hadn’t. Spanking might help get back some of the respect they lost.”
WILLIAM DAVIS, Brooklyn, toy factory owner: “Yes. Most of them have it coming to them anyway. If they don’t, it will remind them how well off they are. I subscribe to the theory that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

I NOTICED MY WAITRESS HAS A BLACK EYE
SO I ORDERED VERY SLOWLY BECAUSE SHE OBVIOUSLY DOESN’T LISTEN.

Grandma used to say, “Don’t brag about how good you can cook, men will eat 3 day old pizza. Impress him with anal sex.”

Girl I know its not bingo night
But ima still help you find that G spot