How many perverts does it take to put in a light bulb?
Just one, but it takes the entire emergency room to get it out!
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosTopic: sex
Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.
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Condom Saves the Day
“First,” said the playboy, “I’m going to buy you a few drinks and get you a bit loose.”
“Oh no you’re not,” said the girl.
“Then I’ll take you to dinner and ply you with a few more drinks.”
“Oh no you’re not.”
“Then I’ll take you to my place and keep serving you drinks.”
“Oh no you’re not.”
“Then I’m going to make violent, passionate love to you.”
“Oh no you’re not.”
“And I’m not going to wear a condom either!” said the guy.
“Oh yes you are!” said the girl
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Stimulus Check Midget Hookers
Me when I realize I should have used my stimulus check on bills instead of midget hookers with pink wigs
Someday I’ll learn.
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Manners at the Dinner Table Apply Everywhere
The nervous young bride became irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimanded him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she declared, “just as I do at the dinner table.”
Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothed his rumpled hair and climbed quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” he asked, with a hint of a smile.
“Yes,” replied the young woman, “much better.”
“Very good, darling,” the husband whispered. “Now would you be so kind as to please pass the pussy?”
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I Never Truly Understood
I never truly understood
until I encountered
__________.
Licking things to claim them as your own.
The clitoris.
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Selling My Nudes
Times are tough so once again I will be selling my nudes.
$5 to get one
$25 not to get one
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Wife Plays Dead During Doggie Style
Two buddies were sharing drinks while discussing their wives.
“Does your wife ever … well, you know … does she … well, let you do it doggie style?” asked one of the two.
“Well, not exactly,” his friend replied, “She’s into the dog trick aspect of it.”
“Oh, I see. Kinky stuff, huh?”
“Well… not exactly. More like she rolls over and plays dead.”
