Two gay guys are in their apartment. The first guy says, “Let’s play hide and go seek. If you find me, I’ll blow you.”
The second guys says, “What if I can’t find you?”
And the first guy says, “I’ll be behind the piano.”
Topic: sex
Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.
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Quiet Night Interrupted by Unexpected Audience
This guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school. Unfortunately he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is about 9 years old. One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun. They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his gal climb up to the top bunk.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
Virgin Bride’s Three Failed Marriages Explained
A middle aged man and woman meet, fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride says to her new groom, “Please promise to be gentle,… I am still a virgin.”
The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married 3 times before.”
The bride responds… “Well you see it was this way: My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.”
“My second husband was a gynecologist and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.”
“And my third husband was a stamp collector and all he ever wanted to do was……………..God I miss him!”
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First Time Jitters at the Pharmacy Counter
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her and her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms.
The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he’d like to buy – a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. “Oh I’m so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!”
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl’s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, “I had no idea you were this religious.”
The boy turns, and whispers back, “I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!”
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Horseshoe Versus Whore’s Shoe: Times Have Changed
A grandfather went to visit his college-age grandson at the dorm. Grandpa was astonished to find that his son was living a life of sin and corruption, as shown by the very high-heeled shoe nailed over the doorway.
In my day, grumbled Gramps, we would hang a horse shoe over the door for luck and then study late into the night hoping to pass our classes.
But grandpa, replied the grandson, that is a whore’s shoe.
