I fucked that guy down at the car wash twice today. I wanted to be there for the second cumming of Jesus.
Topic: sex
Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.
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I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those
I like threesomes with two girls and one guy better than those with two guys and one girl. It makes sense, given human nature: See, girls like variety while guys only like pussy.
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(Jilly G.) The best thing about a threesome is that if you do
(Jilly G.) The best thing about a threesome is that if you do something TRULY spectacular, you’ll have two witnesses there to corroborate your story.
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Apparently, to my husband “Happy Valentine’s Day” means “Yes!
Apparently, to my husband “Happy Valentine’s Day” means “Yes! I’m finally getting anal!”
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“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy
“It shakes all over like a jellyfish, and I like it, crazy little thing called love.” Wow, Freddie Mercury must’ve been a terrible fuck.
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I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out
I think if I were a dude, one of the first things I’d figure out would be how not to cum on my own face when I masturbate.
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Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off?
Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off? The toughest part is figuring out which sock puppet gets to do the deed.
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Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they
Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they run a business like everyone, but I still think hookers should at least give premature ejaculators a discount.
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I don’t see the appeal to mind-blowing sex. During sex, it’s not
I don’t see the appeal to mind-blowing sex. During sex, it’s not my mind that I want blown.
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Hotel sex can be loads of fun. Unless someone catches you and
Hotel sex can be loads of fun. Unless someone catches you and yells at you to get a room.
