THE MISSIONARY POSITION
MOTHER TERESA IN THEORY AND PRACTICE
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS
FOREWORD BY THOMAS MALLON
Topic: sex
Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.
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Don’t Deep Throat So Far Then
Philip: Gay men make me puke
Rubberbandits: Don’t deep throat so far then.
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Not Gonna Ask Jesus for Midget Porn
Why use Google, when Jesus has all the answers.? 🙂
Not gonna ask Jesus where to find midget porn
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The Top 17 Rejected Titles for the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie
17. There’s Something About Tying Up and Whipping Mary
16. Boundhog Day
15. Prince of Tied
14. Binding Nemo
13. Cloudy with a Chance of Beat Balls
12. Meet the Floggers
11. Back Side Story
10. The Hurt Licker
9. L*A*S*H
8. Rear Ender’s Game
7. 12 Angry Men and a Coed with Daddy Issues
6. 13 Years a Sex Slave
5. Lock, Stock, Cuffs, Shackles, Chains, Restraints, Ball Gags and Two Smoking Barrels
4. Blazing Paddles
3. Thor All Over
2. Dude, Where’s Your Fist?
1. Whip. Lash.
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The Vegas Prostitute
A man is walking the Las Vegas strip and runs into the most beautiful woman he has ever met. He starts talking to her, and to his luck, he finds out she is a prostitute. So he asks her,
“How much for a hand job?”
“$5,000,” she replies.
“$5,000?? You must be nuts, no way.”
“Walk with me,” she replies. He agrees and they walk for a moment, ending up in front of a restaurant. “You see this restaurant? I own this restaurant because men pay me $5,000 for hand jobs.”
He ponders for a moment. “Damn, they must be pretty good then. Alright.” He brings her back to his hotel room, gets the hand job, and as advertised — it is the best hand job he has ever had. After he finishes, he realizes how perfect she is and asks, “Okay, that was awesome. How much for a blow job?”
“$15,000,” she replies.
“$15,000?!? You are out of your mind. No way!” he shouts.
“Come to the window.” They walk to the window and she begins to point. “You see those three casinos? I own those casinos because men pay me $15,000 for blow jobs.”
“Fine, how can I say no?”
Once again, it is the best blow job of his life. He is writhing in ecstasy after finishing, and practically in love with this woman. “Okay, I am gonna regret this. How much for the pussy?”
“Come to the window.” He follows her to the window, ready for anything. “Do you see all of Las Vegas?” she asks.
“No way! You own all of Las Vegas?!” he exclaims, astounded.
“No…” she looks down. “But I would if I had a pussy…”
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Chainsaw Fart Scratches the Itch
When your asshole itches but you rip a chainsaw fart that scratches it on the way out
