Topic: sex

Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.

  • Cindy the Witch

    A guy goes to a whorehouse, feeling extremely horny. He’s willing to pay big money. The madame realizes that all her girls are currently occupied, but she doesn’t want to lose out on the cash. So she gets an idea.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    She puts a blow-up doll in a darkened room. Then she goes back to the guy and says, “You can have Cindy. She’s very shy and doesn’t speak or react, and she likes to do it with the lights off. But you can do anything you want with her, she won’t complain.”

    The guy pays his money and goes up to the room.

    Ten minutes later he runs back down, naked, screaming, “Cindy’s a witch! Cindy’s a witch!”

    “What’s wrong?” asks the madame.

    “Well, you told me I could do what I like with Cindy, so I thought I’d try some rough stuff!”

    “What happened?”

    “I bit her tit and she flew out the window!”

  • The Speed Limit of Sex

    What is the speed limit of sex?

    68 — because at 69 you have to turn around.

  • Gordon Ramsay Dwarf Lookalike Eaten by Badger

    Gordon Ramsay Dwarf Lookalike Eaten by Badger

    rachel @raalaa_

    Roses are red, Sugar is used to sweeten

    Gordon Ramsay’s dwarf porn star look alike found dead in badger den half eaten

  • One Leg

    What has one leg and licks balls?

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    My amputee girlfriend.

  • Flappuccino

    What is the female equivalent of teabagging?

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    A flappuccino.

  • Mirror Mirror

    I want to have sex with someone who’s as attractive as I am.

    That’s why I always masturbate in front of a mirror.

  • Impressed by My Fat Balls

    Impressed by My Fat Balls

    Don’t be impressed by money, followers, degrees and titles. Be impressed by humility integrity, generosity and my fat balls.

  • Stacy Took My Virginity

    Stacy Took My Virginity

    [GUY]-“Stacy took my virginity last night!”

    [FRIEND]-“Isn’t Stacy mentally retarded?”

    [GUY]-“i wanted my first time to be special.”

  • Wait for the Bulb to Cool Off

    Wait for the Bulb to Cool Off

    My girlfriend and I had sex a couple of days ago. She looked at me and said, “Turn the light off and stick it in my butt”. I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.

  • No Weatherman

    No Weatherman

    BABY I’M NO WEATHERMAN

    BUT YOU CAN EXPECT A FEW INCHES TONIGHT.