Doctor: This COVID test may make you gag…
Your mom: It won’t
Topic: sex
Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.
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Tom Jones and the Siamese Twins
A pair of drop-dead gorgeous female Siamese twins who were joined at the hip saw the ad for the concert in the local paper. One of them said, “Hey, Tom Jones is in town! How would you like to go and see him?” They agreed to go, hoping they might get to meet him.
Tom Jones did in fact notice them from the stage and asked for them to be sent to his room. After a couple of drinks, he asked them if they would be into any hanky-panky, and one of them definitely was, but the other one not so much. Tom asked the other one what she likes doing, and she said she actually likes to play the trombone, so he picked one up from the horn section so she could keep herself amused while he had his way with the other one.
A couple of years later, there was another ad in the paper that the twins saw, and one of them said, “Hey, would you like to go see Tom Jones again?”
The other twin replied, “Do you think he would remember us?”
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It Must Have Gotten Married
Her: That thing is broken, it has stopped sucking.
Him: It must have gotten married.
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Gay Best Friend
Daemon Blackfyre @nekuLDN
If my girlfriend ever has a “gay best friend”, that nigga better suck my dick to prove it
