I’m terrible at remembering sayings. I can usually come close, but close only counts in haircuts and handjobs.
Delivery Style: bait and switch
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered
No one was surprised when my flat-chested girlfriend discovered her family originates from the former Soviet republic of Nojugsistan.
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When I told my wife I was interested in a threesome, she said
When I told my wife I was interested in a threesome, she said she “didn’t know what to do with that information.” Okay, Honey, let me help: Tell your hairdresser we want to fuck her seven ways to Sunday.
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If you’re ever nauseous, you should put your head between your
If you’re ever nauseous, you should put your head between your knees and take deep breaths. Unless it’s your own ball stench that’s making you nauseous in the first place — then you should try something else.
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I enjoy orgasms. So sue me. No, really — sue me, I haven’t
I enjoy orgasms. So sue me. No, really — sue me, I haven’t
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Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words:
Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words: “I’d hit that.”
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I lost a bundle wagering on porn the other day. Take my advice
I lost a bundle wagering on porn the other day. Take my advice and don’t bet against the spread.
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My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy
My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy the Stripper for Halloween, he refused to eat me.
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Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to
Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to clean around the tied-up midget.
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The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen
The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen one blue pussy, you’ve seen them all.
