What has six balls and screws poor people?
The lottery.
Delivery Style: bait and switch
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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You’re Next
Old people at weddings always poke me and say, “You’re next.”
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
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Shout Out to Librarians
I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…
…oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.
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Hit the Roof
I told my wife that I’ve swapped our bed for a trampoline.
She hit the roof!
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Poop With the Door Open
I told my wife that we’ve been together long enough now, we can poop with the door open…
…She told me I shouldn’t be pooping in the car in the first place!
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Children’s Zoo
Last week I took the kids to a children’s zoo.
Last night they escaped and came back home.
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After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my
After months and months of begging, I finally got to see my long-distance girlfriend’s amazing naked body via webcam today. Now I just pray she doesn’t find the hidden camera.
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At first I was put off when she invited me back to her place and
At first I was put off when she invited me back to her place and it reeked of urine. Then when she told me that she doesn’t have pets, I was totally turned on.
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Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my
Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my boyfriend. He appreciates it and says it makes it feel like he was in the room.
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When your girlfriend has a sore throat, it’s probably not a good
When your girlfriend has a sore throat, it’s probably not a good idea to offer your manhood as a soothing lozenge. Not so much because it’s inconsiderate, but because the prospect of catching strep-penis sounds quite unpleasant.
