Delivery Style: deadpan

Deadpan joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Night School 8 AM Class

    The worst part about going to night school to get my college education was ending up with an 8:00 class and having to drag my sleepy ass out of bed by 7:00 PM.

  • Makeup Sex

    My girlfriend surprised me the other day by suggesting we should have makeup sex, then for some reason she screamed and slammed the door on me when I showed up in my Gene Simmons KISS costume. Needless to say, we’re fighting again.

  • Seatbelt Didn’t Deploy

    Today I was injured when I wrecked my car. I’m not sure what went wrong — I was wearing my airbag, but the seatbelt didn’t deploy.

  • Best Invention Since Sliced Bread

    A good, sharp knife has got to be the best invention since sliced bread.

  • Call the Exterminator

    Sometimes I look outside my window and think, “Those people look like ants from here.” But then I realize I live on the first floor, and I really need to call the exterminator.

  • Except a Crippling Illness

    Whatever doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. Except a crippling illness that leaves me comatose and on a respirator, that is.

  • Giant Robotic Parrot

    If I had a nickel for every time someone told me that my idea for melting down coins to make a giant robotic parrot was a bad idea, I would have one kickass giant robotic parrot.

  • Neckwear for an Octopus

    When choosing neckwear for an octopus, a bow tie is the way to go. A long tie is just likely to get tangled in the tentacles. Plus, most octopi believe that a bow tie makes them look like eccentric intellectuals rather than slimy cephalopods.

  • Bucknekkid Dart Tag Reconsidered

    While I love weapons, nudity and sports, perhaps I should have spent a little more time thinking through the reality of Bucknekkid Dart Tag.

  • This Little Piggy

    You’d think that at some point the little piggy that went to market might swing by the pharmacy and pick up something for the one with the uncontrollable bladder.