Delivery Style: deadpan

Deadpan joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The Eggnog Alibi

    I miss the holidays. It’s the only time of year when you can get away with telling people that the stain on your dress is really eggnog.

  • Epiphany

    I had an epiphany today: I finally realized what the word epiphany means.

  • Glass Houses

    Remember: People who live in glass houses can see you masturbating in their bushes.

  • Folgers Crystals for the Blood Bank

    I’ve been saving up all my picked-off scabs in little bags, just in case the local blood bank needs some Folgers crystals.

  • Where Did the Creator of The Jetsons Go

    Whenever I’m stuck in traffic, I can’t help but wonder, “Where did the creator of ‘The Jetsons’ go, and why hasn’t he done something about this?”

  • Zodiac Dinosaur

    Zodiac Dinosaur

    SO… WHAT’S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?

    DINOSAUR

    BUT THAT ONE DOESN’T EVEN EXIST

    NONE OF THEM EXIST

  • Night School 8 AM Class

    The worst part about going to night school to get my college education was ending up with an 8:00 class and having to drag my sleepy ass out of bed by 7:00 PM.

  • Makeup Sex

    My girlfriend surprised me the other day by suggesting we should have makeup sex, then for some reason she screamed and slammed the door on me when I showed up in my Gene Simmons KISS costume. Needless to say, we’re fighting again.

  • Seatbelt Didn’t Deploy

    Today I was injured when I wrecked my car. I’m not sure what went wrong — I was wearing my airbag, but the seatbelt didn’t deploy.