Is “gangbang” one word or two? I’m writing a letter to try and get out of jury duty and I don’t wanna sound stupid.
Delivery Style: deadpan
Deadpan joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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(Donald Junter) No matter what kind of day I have, by the end of
(Donald Junter) No matter what kind of day I have, by the end of the day my bra always smells like boobs.
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You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t
You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t even in the room!
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If you don’t eat your candy corn in three separate color
If you don’t eat your candy corn in three separate color coordinated bites, you’re a lazy bag of shit.
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Mothers Day Lowest Crime
Fin @gofinurself
My mom is a prosecutor and every year she brings up the fact that Mother’s Day is the day with the lowest crime. I think that says a lot about how many moms commit crimes throughout the year, but can’t today because they’re too busy being celebrated.
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Minty Fresh Brains
I’ve made provisions in my will to be buried with a roll of breath mints. I figure if I should somehow become part of a zombie army roaming the earth, I may want something minty fresh to take the taste of brains out of my mouth.
