You can have my penis when you pry it from my cold, dead hands. Gun. I meant gun.
Delivery Style: deadpan
Deadpan joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I was just reprimanded for having washed out my coffee mug in
I was just reprimanded for having washed out my coffee mug in the bathroom sink instead of in the breakroom. I guess my superiors feel the lavatory should remain pristine for piss, shit and cum residue.
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I was walking my dog when a lady asked if the shit pile on her
I was walking my dog when a lady asked if the shit pile on her lawn was mine and I got super offended because I haven’t shat on a lawn in weeks.
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I took all the money I saved not buying Valentine’s Day presents
I took all the money I saved not buying Valentine’s Day presents over the years and bought masturbation toys. Now I own a solid gold fuck stick.
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Whenever someone with Alzheimer’s tries to apologize to me, I
Whenever someone with Alzheimer’s tries to apologize to me, I tell them to just forget about it.
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In short, your parents fucked when the triangulation of stars
In short, your parents fucked when the triangulation of stars looked like a ram to some ancient guys and that’s why you’re the way you are.
