Delivery Style: deadpan

Deadpan joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The Odds of Being Murdered by Babies

    The Odds of Being Murdered by Babies

    The odds of being murdered by babies are low but never zero.

  • No Longer Young

    No Longer Young

    When I was young, I was poor. But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.

  • Tent Poles Are Not for Pole Dancing

    Tent Poles Are Not for Pole Dancing

    TENT POLES ARE NOT FOR POLE DANCING.

    PLEASE FIND ALTERNATIVE WAYS TO DISAPPOINT YOUR FATHER.

  • Danny Glover Was Just 41

    Danny Glover Was Just 41

    Danny Glover was just 41 when he decided he was getting too old for this shit. Let that sink in.

  • The 69th Wedding Anniversary

    The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary. Not only is the number appropriate, but you’re definitely not fucking anyone by then.

  • It’s really easy to quit

    I don’t know why people say, “It’s so hard to quit.” It’s really easy when it’s something you didn’t want to do in the first place.

  • I didn’t think it hurt that much

    I said to my wife, “They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience…”
    “Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn’t think it hurt that much.”

  • Parking fine

    A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I’d positioned my car correctly…
    It said, “Parking fine.” So that was nice.

  • Professional Mourner

    Professional Mourner

    Professional Mourner

  • I can’t do anything about it

    The company I work for is knowingly making defective whistles.
    I can’t do anything about it.