The morning after their honeymoon night, the wife says to her husband, “You know, you’re really a lousy lover!”
The husband replies, “How would you know after only 30 seconds?”
Delivery Style: dialogue
Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Doctor’s Three-Day Sex Schedule Backfires
The newlyweds were suffering from exhaustion and after an examination, their doctor advised, “It’s not unusual for young people to overdo things during the first weeks of marriage. What you both need is rest. For the next month I want you to limit your sex life to those days of the week with an “R” in them. That is, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.”
Since the end of the week was approaching the newlyweds had no immediate difficulty following the medico’s orders. But on the first night of scheduled rest the young bride found herself eager as a beaver.
Hubby fell asleep, but she tossed and turned and finally nudged her spouse into partial wakefulness.
Expecting daylight, and confused with the darkness, he asked, “What day is it honey?”
She looks at him with a gleam in her eyes and says, “Mondray.”
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Dad’s Mechanical Secretary Problem
A young boy asked his mother, “Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?”
“Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?” replied by his mother.
The young boy answered “The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary.”
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Woman Asks Doctor to Change Vibrator Batteries
A woman gets her vibrator stuck inside her. She goes to the doctor to remove it and the Dr. says “it’s too far up there, I can’t reach it enough to pull it out”.
The woman then replies “if you can’t get it out, can you at least reach it well enough to change the batteries?”
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Native American Escort Outprices Historical Real Estate Deal
A guy visiting Arizona wants to get some.
He finds a pretty escort of Native American origin.
**Girl**: My fee is three hundred dollars.
**Guy**: Whaaaat? Your forefathers only wanted twenty-four bucks for the whole of Manhattan Island!
**Girl**: True enough… but Manhattan Island just lies there.
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Zodiac Dinosaur
SO… WHAT’S YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
DINOSAUR
BUT THAT ONE DOESN’T EVEN EXIST
NONE OF THEM EXIST
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Johnny’s Surgery Gets Out of Hand
“Doctors and Nurses”
A woman brings ten-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her ten-year-old daughter.
Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they are bound to be curious about sex at that age.”
“Never mind sex” replies Mary’s mother. “He’s taken her fucking appendix out!”
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Virgin Bride’s Three Failed Marriages Explained
A middle aged man and woman meet, fall in love, and decide to get married. On their wedding night they settle into the bridal suite at their hotel and the bride says to her new groom, “Please promise to be gentle,… I am still a virgin.”
The startled groom says “How can that be? You’ve been married 3 times before.”
The bride responds… “Well you see it was this way: My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.”
“My second husband was a gynecologist and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.”
“And my third husband was a stamp collector and all he ever wanted to do was……………..God I miss him!”
