Delivery Style: One-liner

One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The Top 17 Tweets From President Trump

    17. Winning! Winners win. And I’m a winner who wins, believe me. #ohfucknowwhatdoido

    16. My huuuge hands typing this from the Oval Office! #HowYouLikeMeNowHillary

    15. Nobody told me the White House was such a dump. Not a single gold toilet. Sad. #3rdWorld

    14. Why do they call it the White House when the kitchen is full of Hispanics? #TrumpHouse

    13. @SCOTUS You’re Fired! #TreatGovernmentLikeBusiness

    12. #100days: abolish Obamacare, export all illegal immigrants, mount Paul Ryan’s balls in the Oval Office #sweetrevenge

    11. @PutinRF_Eng Lincoln bedroom stocked with #Stoli; waiting for your arrival #USARUS

    10. White House? Not on my watch. 2,600 gallons of gold gilt paint on the way! #Glitterpalooza #BlingHouse

    9. Note to self: thank Kellyanne Conway, notify her she won’t be paid.

    8. Just sold Washington Monument to China #suckers #shippingisextra

    7. Got the nuclear codes, so excited: 398236. #watchoutisis #makeamericaglowagain

    6. Melania looks stunning lying naked on the Oval Office’s new polar bear-skin rug, trust me. #MakingAmericaBoneAgain #Bigly

    5. WTF? Canada’s Prime Minister keeps calling, saying USA needs to pay for his wall.

    4. WH needs new housekeepers. @AliciaMachado, job is yours if you can drop 20 lbs!

    3. Just sent my homey @Comey a thank you gift: orange jumpsuit for @Hillary. #orangeisthenewpantsuit

    2. That Lincoln bedroom is SO uncomfortable. No wonder he shot himself. #HoleInTheHead #LumpyMattress

    1. First official act: Lady Liberty loses the burka, shows some leg, gets bigger tits #StatueOfLame #6atBest

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  • Neurosurgeon Girlfriend

    I had to break up with my neurosurgeon girlfriend. She was messing with my head.

  • The Sax

    I really want to break up with my jazz musician girlfriend, but I can’t.

    The sax is too good.

  • The Sting Operation

    Did you guys hear about the worldwide sting operation on people who mix drinks?

    Many of them are behind bars right now.

  • Bulldozer

    My wife is learning how to operate a bulldozer.

    I’m not going to stand in her way.

  • Make Up Sex

    They say make-up sex is the best, which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.

  • Cock Fighting

    I just found out that cockfighting is done with chickens. That’s two years of training I’ll never get back.

  • Kinky vs. Perverted

    You know the difference between kinky and perverted?

    Kinky? Use a feather.

    Perverted? Use the whole chicken.

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  • Go Big or Go to Hell

    If it’s 1 or 1,000 sins, you’re still getting sent to Hell. So why not go for 1,000,000 sins and come down here a legend.

  • A Friendly Reminder

    A friendly reminder: anal sex requires no less than a butt load of lubricant.