I’ve noticed when playing “Grand Theft Auto” over the years that I’m great at driving, but terrible at killing hookers. Life really does imitate art.
Delivery Style: One-liner
One-liner joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The only difference between my job and that of a trapeze artist is the clowns are less
The only difference between my job and that of a trapeze artist is the clowns are less threatening.
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I could walk away from an explosion if I knew it was toward a movie camera because I
I could walk away from an explosion if I knew it was toward a movie camera because I know I could always buy a ticket to see the explosion.
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There’s really no excuse for taking a poorly lit photo of a fire breather.
There’s really no excuse for taking a poorly lit photo of a fire breather.
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I still get toys for Christmas.
I still get toys for Christmas. The real challenge now is when the elderly relatives ask what you got for Christmas and you can’t think of a nicer word for “butt plug.”
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I’d be a lot jollier this Christmas if the people on the subway knew how to board an
I’d be a lot jollier this Christmas if the people on the subway knew how to board an escalator with their bags without hitting me in the crotch with them.
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I went to an Indian Casino in Arkansas.
I went to an Indian Casino in Arkansas. Apparently the tribe isn’t doing very well. The concert that weekend was a guy who had seen Aaron Neville at a better Indian casino.
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I went to a wet t-shirt contest.
I went to a wet t-shirt contest. I bet it would be a lot more fun if they could have got girls to wear them. Now that I think of it that place was probably just a laundromat.
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Why do angry mobs have that much tar and feathers on hand anyway?
Why do angry mobs have that much tar and feathers on hand anyway?
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They have a law here that says you can’t buy alcohol on Sundays, but you can buy
They have a law here that says you can’t buy alcohol on Sundays, but you can buy gasoline which is much worse for you if you drink it. Where’s the sense in that?
