I went to the doctor yesterday for a physical.
The doctor tells me, “You have to quit drinking beer.”
“Why?” I asked.
Doctor, “Because I’m trying to give you a physical right now.”
Format: dialogue
Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Ten Bucks Same as Downtown
A monk turns 18, so he leaves the monastery and travels to town for the very first time. He’s walking down the street, and a hooker says, “Hey father! How about a little head? Ten bucks.”
Well, the monk doesn’t know what this means, so he goes scurrying back up to the monastery. He finds one of the nuns and says, “Sister, what’s ‘head’?”
And she says, “Ten bucks, same as downtown.”
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Seven Lemons for the Smirk
A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night.”
The priest is silent for a moment, then says, “Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp.”
“And I’ll be forgiven?” asks the man.
“No,” replies the priest, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”
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The Blonde Learns How to Tell a Joke
A blonde and a brunette are hanging out. “Can you teach me how to tell a joke?” asks the blonde.
“People don’t seem to like my jokes,” she continued. “But everyone laughs at yours. How do you come up with such good jokes?”
“Honestly, I’m not really naturally funny,” said the brunette. “I don’t think up my own jokes. I just take other people’s jokes and say the punchline louder.”
“Oh…” The blonde thought long and hard for a moment. “Okay, I think I got it. Knock knock!”
“Um… who’s there?”
“Louder!”
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I Just Looked Next to the Potatoes
I was out to dinner and the waitress asked, “How did you find your steak, sir?”
I told her, “I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.”
