Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Two gay men are beach walking, holding hands when a beautiful woman passes them. She’s 5’10”, 38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!
The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, and in a breathless whisper says, “It’s women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a Lesbian!”
There was this couple in bed one night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on and read a book. As he was reading he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling with her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife then got up and started stripping off in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, “What are you doing taking all your gear off?”
The wife replied, “You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier.”
The husband said, “No, not at all.”
The wife then asked, “Well, what were you doing then?”
“Oh,” he said, “I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages in my book!”
One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm. The wife turns over and says “I’m sorry honey, I’ve got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.”
The husband, rejected, turns over and tries to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. This time he whispers in her ear, “Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?”
A young couple with a box of condoms proceeded to do the wild thing. When they were finished, she discovered that there were only six condoms remaining in the box of 12, so she asked him, “What happened to the other five condoms?”
His nervous reply was, “Er, I masturbated with them.”
Later, she then approached her male confidant friend, told him the story, and then asked him, “Have you ever done that?”
“Yeah, once or twice,” he told her.
“You mean you’ve actually masturbated with a condom before?” she asked.
“Oh,” he said, “I thought you were asking if I’d ever lied to my girlfriend.”
Gorbachev called Clinton with an emergency: “Our largest condom factory has exploded!” the Russian President cried. “My people’s favorite form of birth control! This is a true disaster!”
“Mikhael, the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you,” replied the President.
“I do need your help,” said Gorbachev. “Could you possibly send 1,000,000 condoms ASAP to tide us over?”
“Why certainly! I’ll get right on it!” said Clinton.
“Oh, and one more small favor, please?”
“Yes?” “Could the condoms be red in color and at least 10″ long and 4″ in diameter?”
“No problem,” replied the President and, with that, Clinton hung up and called the President of Trojan.
“I need a favor, you’ve got to make 1,000,000 condoms right away and send them to Russia.”
“Consider it done,” said the President of Trojan.
“Great! Now listen, they have to be red in color, 10″ long and 4″ wide.”
“Easily done. Anything else?”
“Yeah,” said the President, “print ‘MADE IN AMERICA, SIZE MEDIUM’ on each one.”
Jim was in bed with his best friend’s wife. Just as things were reaching a climax, he suddenly stopped and sat on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” she asked.
