Format: dialogue

Dialogue comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • That, Gentlemen, Is Courage

    A Russian, an American, and a British admiral were having a drink on an American aircraft carrier. They were talking about the bravery of their sailors.

    The Russian said, “I will demonstrate the bravery of our sailors.”

    He calls a sailor over and says, “Jump off the ship. Swim under it and climb back up.”

    The sailor promptly salutes and jumps off the flight deck, swims under the ship, climbs up the davits and stands in front of the admiral and salutes.

    The Russian says, “That, gentlemen, is courage.”

    The American says, “That’s nothing.”

    He calls over a PO and says, “I want you to jump off the bow. Swim under the ship to the stern and then return.”

    The PO salutes, jumps off the bow, swims to the stern, and climbs back up to stand in front of the admiral and salutes.

    The American says, “That, gentlemen, is courage.”

    The British admiral says, “That’s nothing. Sailor, come here.”

    The matelot comes to attention and salutes.

    The admiral says, “I want you to climb the highest mast on the carrier, jump off, swim under the boat from bow to stern and then from beam to beam, then climb up the mast and do it again.”

    The matelot looks at the admiral and says, “You can fuck right off, sir!”

    The admiral turns to the other two and says, “And that, gentlemen, is courage.”

  • Could You Vape Semen

    Could You Vape Semen

    r/morbidquestions u/thatcatinthecorner 14h

    Could you vape semen?

    If it was watered down to the approximate thickness of fluid, could you vape semen?

    192 60 Share

    BEST COMMENTS

    DrDank7 12h

    Great now you’re making vaping even more gay

    445

    1simis 9h

    It’s a double negative though so it cancels out

    115

    What_R_YOU_Doin_Here 6h

    I don’t think that’s how this works. If you are giving a bj and taking it in the ass at the same time, does that make you straight?

    18

    WillBeamon 6h

    Obviously

    33

  • Dentist You Were There!

    Dentist You Were There!

    Dentist: When was the last time you flossed?

    Me: Bro, you were THERE.

  • Holy Spirit Strangling Hookers

    Holy Spirit Strangling Hookers

    “Wooooo… I am the Holy Spirit! What you are doing is a SIN!”

    “Nonsense—masturbation is healthy and natural.”

    “No, I meant strangling hookers.”

    “Oh, right. Tbat.”

  • It Looks Like You’re Pregnant

    It Looks Like You’re Pregnant

    it looks like you’re pregnant

    I’m pregnant?!

    No, but it looks like you are.

  • The Dentist

    A dentist tells his patient, “This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?”

    The patient says, “Yes, doc. I’m ready.”

    And the dentist says, “I’m sleeping with your wife.”

  • Perfect Eyesight

    Arthur is 75 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball, I couldn’t see where it went.”

    His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?”

    “That’s no good,” sighs Arthur. “Your brother is 85. He can’t help.”

    “He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

    So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and says, “Did you see the ball?”

    “Of course I did. Great shot!” answers the brother-in-law. “I have perfect eyesight.”

    “Where did it go?” Arthur asks.

    “I don’t remember.”

  • Job Interview

    Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

    Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.

  • Skinhead? It’s Leukemia

    Skinhead? It’s Leukemia

    YOU’RE A SKINHEAD YOU BITCH

    NO DAD, IT’S LEUKEMIA

    LEUK-WHAT? STOP SPEAKING GERMAN YOU FUCKING NAZI

  • No Shit

    Immediately after mass one Sunday morning, a man stops to shake the preacher’s hand. “That was a goddamned fine sermon you gave today,” the man tells the preacher. “Goddamned fine!”

    “Thank you, sir,” the preacher answers, “but I’d rather you didn’t use that kind of foul, blasphemous language in the Lord’s house.”

    “You know, I was so goddamned impressed with that fucking sermon that I put $5,000 in the goddamned offering plate!” says the man.

    And the preacher says, “No shit!”