Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Gonads-First Into a Doorknob

    There’s no shame in a man’s weeping; the bitter yet life-embracing tears of universal sorrow… especially when he’s just walked gonads-first into a doorknob.

  • If Loving You Is Wrong

    If loving you is wrong, then baby, it goes a long way towards explaining the concussion and crushed left testicle.

  • Demented Exhibitionist Guy

    I bet one of the hardest parts of being a superhero is remembering which phone booth you left your clothes in. And by “superhero,” what I mean is “demented-exhibitionist-guy.”

  • Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann

    Suppose Dolly Parton married Tom Smothers, then divorced him and married Stuart Little, divorced him and married Martin Short, then divorced him and married Leslie Mann.

    Her name would be Dolly Parton Smothers Little Short Mann.

  • Sofishticated

    What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

    Sofishticated.

  • Safety in Numb Bears

    Most zoo dentists refuse to treat a grizzly without strong anesthesia first.

    Because there’s safety in numb bears.

  • The Tolkien White Guys

    The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis, who played Gollum.

    They’re the Tolkien white guys.

  • They Prefer to Eat Out

    Why don’t lesbians ever get their pizza delivered? They prefer to eat out.

  • Poop Deck Confusion Lands Lifetime Cruise Ban

    I haven’t been allowed back on a cruise ship ever since that whole ‘poop deck’ misunderstanding.

  • Wife’s Anatomy: Not What I Expected

    My wife says it’s okay to have a little penis. I still wish she didn’t have one, though.