If you’re ever of a mind to use a little saliva of your T.P. to blunt the scratch of it across your ass, you might want to stay focused on the whole “lick, wipe, lick, wipe” order of the event chain.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange
I wonder if the guy who invented the vibrator heard a strange little voice whispering to him: “Build it and they will cum.”
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In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have screamed and fled the room. I’m pretty sure now that she wasn’t a cannibal after all and was probably just trying to be sexy when she said, “I want you inside me.”
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My boyfriend ran out on me. Luckily I’d used rechargeable batteries
My boyfriend ran out on me. Luckily I’d used rechargeable batteries.
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You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately
You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
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I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies
I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies.
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I think that woman at the animal shelter is overreacting. I
I think that woman at the animal shelter is overreacting. I never said I wanted to adopt a kitten; I said I wanted a little pussy.
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(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with
(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with a little pickle in ’em!
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Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to
Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to look like the buildings surrounding the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
