I keep asking my personal waxer if he’d ever consider going out with me, but he just keeps giving me lip service.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Money can’t buy happiness. Except the kind of happiness that can
Money can’t buy happiness. Except the kind of happiness that can be found with multiple orgasms brought on by well-made vibrators.
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The problem with being a scat freak with a cold is that nobody
The problem with being a scat freak with a cold is that nobody knows what to think when you tell them you feel like fucking shit.
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There’s a job opening at the tampon factory. If you’re
There’s a job opening at the tampon factory. If you’re interested, I think I can pull a few strings.
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My man wanted to fuck me missionary-style. WTF? He knows I’m not
My man wanted to fuck me missionary-style. WTF? He knows I’m not religious.
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My new girlfriend is very talented: After oral sex she blows
My new girlfriend is very talented: After oral sex she blows semen bubbles then twists them into balloon animals!
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Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a
Of all the movie lines I’ve quoted in an effort to pick up a guy, City Slickers’ “I shit bigger than you” is probably my least successful.
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I’ll stop masturbating when they pry my cock from my cold dead
I’ll stop masturbating when they pry my cock from my cold dead hands. Or vice versa. (John “Schmitty” )Schmidt I love online sex. It gives me the chance to play the sex kitten, coming on to guys and driving them into frenzies
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Something tells me it’s not a good thing when the hooker first
Something tells me it’s not a good thing when the hooker first tells you there’s “absolutely no way” she’ll do anal, then sees your penis and says, “Oh, with THAT? Sure. No problem.”
