My friends were all impressed with my devotion to CNN until they found out that for me it stands for “Cum-‘N’-Nap.”
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks
Butterflies are free — around the world costs an extra fifty bucks.
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My wet T-shirt contests are popular, but my wet underpants
My wet T-shirt contests are popular, but my wet underpants contests are becoming legendary.
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To me it was never about “Romulans versus Klingons” as much as
To me it was never about “Romulans versus Klingons” as much as it was about “How far am I going to take this in order to bang a chick willing to wear Spock ears during sex?”
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I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the
I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the fashion industry is too afraid to show off their new paisley butt-plug, who needs their opinions?
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When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think
When Ben Franklin said, “Early to bed, early to rise,” I think it he was talking about the effect of sleep on morning wood.
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I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say
I have Bieber Feber! Wait… I’m sorry, I hab a code. When I say “Bieber,” I mean “bagina.”
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Boyfriends are like used car salesmen: They lie, they scam, and
Boyfriends are like used car salesmen: They lie, they scam, and they fuck your brains out in the backseat.
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I really enjoy writing my Ruminations while totally naked. But
I really enjoy writing my Ruminations while totally naked. But the manager at Burger King keeps telling me it’s a health code violation.
