Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster than a schmear of butt-mustard left behind by the cat.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Okay, I get it: Every kiss begins with Kay. But what jewelry
Okay, I get it: Every kiss begins with Kay. But what jewelry store do I need if I just want a blow job?
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Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
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They say you never forget the name of your first love. Mine was
They say you never forget the name of your first love. Mine was Asshole O’Douchebag.
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They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better
They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better than that of a human. If that’s the case, why do dogs have to get their nose so damn close when sniffing each others butts?
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I thought I’d be successful with my specialty furniture
I thought I’d be successful with my specialty furniture business, but every time I call a prospective customer and ask if they want to see my stool samples, they just gasp and hang up.
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I try listening to my heart, really I do
I try listening to my heart, really I do.
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There are no three words in the English language sexier or more
There are no three words in the English language sexier or more romantic than those three that every woman longs to hear a man say: “I’d hit that!”
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I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical
I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical jokes about oral sex. You might say she has a good gag reflex.
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I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of
I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of “Fitness” and “Shape” magazines, with scantily attired women adorning the cover. I mean, they *always* find a way to put the damn mailing label on top of the cameltoe!
