Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off? The toughest part is figuring out which sock puppet gets to do the deed.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
My wife told me for her birthday, she wanted to have a threesome
My wife told me for her birthday, she wanted to have a threesome so she could experience a really big dick. Unfortunately, Simon Cowell is busy that night.
-
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m
I get it, it’s not “birds of a feather fuck together.” But I’m still not canceling the bird orgy.
-
When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t
When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t expecting him to tell me that he fucked my mom.
-
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.
-
Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they
Look, I’m not saying I should get all my money back. I know they run a business like everyone, but I still think hookers should at least give premature ejaculators a discount.
-
I don’t see the appeal to mind-blowing sex. During sex, it’s not
I don’t see the appeal to mind-blowing sex. During sex, it’s not my mind that I want blown.
-
I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the
I’m a big fan of suspense movies. I like not knowing whether the hero’s going to squirt on her bush or unload all over those big ol’ titties.
-
I saved some $5,000 in potential counseling bills trying to cure
I saved some $5,000 in potential counseling bills trying to cure my scat fetish, and all it took was having to change my twin nieces’ diapers over the holiday weekend.
