Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Money may be the root of all evil, but guys with tiny dicks are

Money may be the root of all evil, but guys with tiny dicks are a pretty close second.
There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob,

There’s a saying that there’s no such thing as a bad blowjob, but I’d argue that the one your buddy gets from your sister while you’re waiting in the next room isn’t all that great for YOU.
When the only tool you have is a penis, everything starts to

When the only tool you have is a penis, everything starts to look like a vagina.
I’m not saying humor turns me on. I’m just saying that my chair

I’m not saying humor turns me on. I’m just saying that my chair turns into a Slip-‘n’-Slide after reading a good HumorLabs issue.
The Discovery Channel is doing specials about paranormal

The Discovery Channel is doing specials about paranormal phenomena that some people swear exist yet science has been unable to confirm. They did a show about UFOs and another about Bigfoot. Tomorrow they’re doing one on the clitoris.
(Tim H. Richweis) The biggest difference between my clitoris and

(Tim H. Richweis) The biggest difference between my clitoris and Osama bin Laden is that a guy actually found Osama bin Laden.
I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I

I’m not saying my boyfriend’s penis is small, I’m just saying I should probably be able to tell the difference between fucking and acupuncture.
Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs”

Silly me. I assumed my girlfriend’s nickname of “Thunder Thighs” had something to do with their size — until I heard the rumbling noises that often emanate from near the tops of them.
I like to do it doggy-style. That’s where I growl at my husband,

I like to do it doggy-style. That’s where I growl at my husband, then lift my leg and pee on him.
The thing I find so disgusting about airport bathrooms is you

The thing I find so disgusting about airport bathrooms is you have no idea how many people have smeared a sheen of their semen on the toilet seat before you did.