“Slowly Encroaching Chocolate” is a level on Candy Crush Saga. It’s also a pretty fair descriptor for the state of my underwear.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Sure, I robbed that bank. I heard that cute bank teller fingered
Sure, I robbed that bank. I heard that cute bank teller fingered lots of suspects in the past.
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I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me
I hate dating a pharmacist. He always puts stickers on me saying, “Not to be taken orally.”
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If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High
If I could be young again, I’d become a Flamenco dancer. High school beatings only last four years, but I’d have decades of pussy.
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I think getting Amanda Bynes alone would be the hard part.
I think getting Amanda Bynes alone would be the hard part. Convincing her my cock dispenses thorazine should be a piece of cake.
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to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two
to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two pounds lighter.
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After watching a porn movie, I can never recall the entire plot
After watching a porn movie, I can never recall the entire plot — I just remember a few snatches.
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There is literally nothing in the world you could name that men
There is literally nothing in the world you could name that men haven’t jerked it to or tried to fuck.
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With its backward-curving fangs and quick-acting venom, the
With its backward-curving fangs and quick-acting venom, the Mexican tarantula is widely known for giving the animal kingdom’s worst blowjob.
