I’ll bet it’s hard being an elf. Not only do you spend your entire life making toys, but you also have a little elf dick.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I used to feel confident because so many gay dudes were hot for
I used to feel confident because so many gay dudes were hot for me. Then I realized that gay dudes, like me, will stick their dicks in anything.
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I just learned a new riff on my ukulele, in case you were
I just learned a new riff on my ukulele, in case you were wondering where all this pussy came from.
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Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part
Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part was getting them out of my scrotum.
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The best thing about solitary confinement: Nobody walks in while
The best thing about solitary confinement: Nobody walks in while I’m masturbating.
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The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to
The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to cum in less than 60 seconds every damn time.
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I don’t even like to bargain or haggle, but one of my favorite
I don’t even like to bargain or haggle, but one of my favorite words in the English language is still “dicker.”
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The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates
The reason I keep going back to Cherry is that she appreciates my eccentricities, like using exactly 2.5 tablespoons of lube, and that it has to be applied clockwise to both my cock and her sphincter, once before and once midway through. Yep, I’m *very* anal about anal.
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I like my women like I like my grilled cheese sandwiches:
I like my women like I like my grilled cheese sandwiches: slightly toasted, cheesy, and with really large tits.
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If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a
If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a pocketed banana, why the hell should I be happy?
