My dog likes to sniff bushes while he poops, lending a lot of weight to my theories that shrubs are just dog magazines.
Format: one-liner
One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I have a penis and know how to cook. Laydeez! I’m one-stop
I have a penis and know how to cook. Laydeez! I’m one-stop shopping for feeding and fucking!
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With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot
With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot up my ass. Guess which room of the house I’m in? Yep, your mom’s bedroom.
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None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my vestigial tail because now they think I’m a demon.
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Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex:
Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex: using “cum” as a verb is acceptable, whereas using it as a noun is not.
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Prenatal ultrasound: Our first dick pics
Prenatal ultrasound: Our first dick pics.
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“Hey Mother, want another?” Some dude trying to get rid of a
“Hey Mother, want another?” Some dude trying to get rid of a broken condom.
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Choo choo? That’s your best train sound
Choo choo? That’s your best train sound?
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IDEA! A free sip of strong espresso before you order at the
IDEA! A free sip of strong espresso before you order at the coffee shop. So nobody’s drink goes cold while they’re waiting in line to shit.
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I don’t think I’d be so tired masturbating to porn here at work
I don’t think I’d be so tired masturbating to porn here at work if I wasn’t up all night masturbating to porn at home.
