Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Dad I’m Over Here

    My dad said, “Son, if you masturbate too much you’ll go blind.”

    And I was like, “Dad, I’m over here.”

  • If It Gets Any Worse I’ll Have to Let Her In

    Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the window.

    If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

  • Habit Forming

    The national committee of tailors has issued a warning about making clothes for nuns.

    Apparently, it’s habit forming.

  • More Interested in the Hereafter

    As I grow older I find I am more interested in the hereafter.

    I’ll be standing in the kitchen going “now, what did I come in here after?”

  • Cracks Started to Appear

    My wife denied she was a lesbian but it wasn’t long before cracks started to appear in our marriage.

  • Why Is the Bible Like a Penis

    Why is the Bible like a penis?

    You get it forced down your throat by a priest.

  • The Worst Thing About Being an Atheist

    What’s the worst thing about being an atheist?

    You have nobody to talk to when you’re having an orgasm.

  • I’m Dreading It

    I’m not a hairdresser, but a friend of mine asked me to do their hair like a Rastafarian.

    I’m dreading it.

  • A MILF Shake

    What’s the term for getting a handjob from a single mom?

    A MILF shake.

  • Posterchild for Posterchildren

    I’m glad that there isn’t a disease where children are born with thin paper bodies. Although I guess it might be fun to be the posterchild for posterchildren.