Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • It Was Instant

    A man died after falling into a vat of coffee.

    His wife told reporters, “At least he didn’t suffer — it was instant.”

  • If Your Girlfriend Starts Smoking

    If your girlfriend starts smoking….

    …slow down, and use a lubricant.

  • Jesus Doesn’t Drink

    Why doesn’t Jesus drink?

    Because the last time he got hammered, it took him 3 days to recover.

  • A Crusty Bus Station

    What’s the difference between a crab with breast implants and a transportation terminal?

    One’s a crusty bus station.

  • Cunning Stunts

    What’s the difference between a magician’s wand and a policeman’s taser?

    The magician’s wand is for cunning stunts.

  • Dad I’m Over Here

    My dad said, “Son, if you masturbate too much you’ll go blind.”

    And I was like, “Dad, I’m over here.”

  • If It Gets Any Worse I’ll Have to Let Her In

    Since it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the window.

    If it gets any worse, I’ll have to let her in.

  • Habit Forming

    The national committee of tailors has issued a warning about making clothes for nuns.

    Apparently, it’s habit forming.

  • More Interested in the Hereafter

    As I grow older I find I am more interested in the hereafter.

    I’ll be standing in the kitchen going “now, what did I come in here after?”

  • Cracks Started to Appear

    My wife denied she was a lesbian but it wasn’t long before cracks started to appear in our marriage.