Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Refrain from dribbling again

    My boss said he couldn’t talk because he was traveling.

    I told him he probably needs to shoot or pass, and refrain from dribbling again.

  • I didn’t know she sold flowers

    My girlfriend asked why I never buy her flowers.

    I told her I didn’t know she sold flowers.

  • Now it’s a Ford Focus

    I just dumped some Adderall in my Ford Fiesta’s gas tank…
    Now it’s a Ford Focus.

  • Watching a live stream

    Why did the woman bring a remote control to the lake?

    She was watching a live stream.

  • He had squatter’s rights

    Why didn’t the personal trainer get kicked out of his apartment?

    He had squatter’s rights.

  • A slipper

    What do you call a shoe made from a banana?

    A slipper.

  • Is the bar tender here?

    A termite walks into a pub and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”

  • The thesaurus throat

    I swallowed a bunch of synonyms today.

    I’ve got the thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.

  • Light blue

    What’s blue and weighs very little?

    Light blue.

  • A meth head actor

    What do you call an actor who’s addicted to meth?

    A meth-head actor.