Format: one-liner

One-liners, quick jokes, short-form comedy, and punchlines built for impatient degenerates from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Is it still considered a beef?

    If two vegans are having an argument…

    Is it still considered a beef?

  • Sir Cumference

    Everyone is familiar with King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table, like Sir Lancelot. But who actually built the round table?

    Sir Cumference.

  • Comparing apples to oranges

    Steve Jobs would have made a better president than Donald Trump…

    But that’s comparing apples to oranges.

  • He was a good buoy

    Did you hear about the dog who was floating in the ocean?
    He was a good buoy…

  • They’re calling it PaPal

    Did you hear the Vatican is releasing an online payment system to absolve you of your sins?
    They’re calling it PaPal.

  • Refrain from dribbling again

    My boss said he couldn’t talk because he was traveling.

    I told him he probably needs to shoot or pass, and refrain from dribbling again.

  • I didn’t know she sold flowers

    My girlfriend asked why I never buy her flowers.

    I told her I didn’t know she sold flowers.

  • Now it’s a Ford Focus

    I just dumped some Adderall in my Ford Fiesta’s gas tank…
    Now it’s a Ford Focus.

  • Watching a live stream

    Why did the woman bring a remote control to the lake?

    She was watching a live stream.

  • He had squatter’s rights

    Why didn’t the personal trainer get kicked out of his apartment?

    He had squatter’s rights.