Format: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Only 40,000 Miles Now

    A woman wanted to sell her car but couldn’t find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked how many miles were on the car.

    “235,000,” she said.

    Her friend told her that was the problem but said her brother was a mechanic who could roll the mileage back to whatever she wanted.

    So the woman went to the mechanic and told him to set it to 40,000.

    Two days later, her friend asked if she had sold the car now that the mileage had been lowered.

    The woman replied, “Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it now!”

  • Before the Crowbar Was Invented

    True fact:

    Before the crowbar was invented…
    …most crows drank at home.

  • The Right Guy

    I asked some girl if she was interested in experiencing the best sex in her life.

    “No!” she quickly replies.

    “Then you’re lucky because you’re talking to the right guy,” I said.

  • Started to See a Little

    I said to my wife, “I want to marry another woman.” Just to see her reaction.

    On the first day, I saw nothing. Then on the second day, I still saw nothing. On the third day, I started to see a little with my left eye.

  • If She Dies She Dies

    A 95-year-old man went to see his doctor. He said, “Doc, I’m marrying a 25-year-old girl, and I need some Viagra for my wedding night.”

    The doctor said, “I’ve got to warn you, as long as you’ve been celibate, that could prove to be fatal.”

    The old man said, “Doc, if she dies, she dies.”

  • Statistically Safe

    An old man was celebrating his 100th birthday with his family.

    One of them asked him if he had any worries about his health and future, and he replied:

    “I have no worries at all! Statistically, very few people die between their 100th and 101st birthday!”

  • Four Deviants in a Bar

    A sadist, zoophile, necrophile and masochist meet in a bar…

    Sadist: “We should get ourselves a chicken and kill it!”

    Zoophile: “We should get ourselves a chicken, have sex with it, and then kill it!”

    Necrophile: “We should get ourselves a chicken, have sex with it, kill it, and then have sex with it again!”

    Masochist: “BWAK BOK BOK BOK”

  • What Do You Have On

    A woman sits down next to a man in a bar and says, “You smell good. What do you have on?”

    And the man says, “I have a hard-on but I didn’t know you could smell it.”

  • She’s Intuit

    I convinced my wife to do a sexy role play with me where we pretend to be financial corporations.

    She’s Intuit.

  • The Squire of the High Pot and Noose

    A perfectly triangular lake has three kingdoms along its three sides.

    The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people.

    The second kingdom is more humble, but still enjoys its fair share of wealth and influence.

    The third kingdom is poor and struggling, with barely enough resources to maintain an army.

    Eventually, the three kingdoms go to war over control of the lake, which has become a valuable resource.

    The first kingdom sends 100 of its finest knights, clad in the best armor money can buy, each accompanied by a personal squire.

    The second kingdom sends 50 knights, equipped with fine leather armor and supported by several dozen squires of their own.

    The third kingdom can only send a single knight — an elderly warrior long past his prime — along with his faithful squire.

    The night before the great battle, the knights of the first kingdom drink and celebrate late into the night.

    The knights of the second kingdom aren’t quite as wealthy, but they still have enough grog to keep the festivities going well into the evening.

    In the third camp, things are much quieter. The squire takes a rope and throws it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose. He hangs a cooking pot from it, fills it with stew, and shares a humble dinner with the old knight.

    The next morning, disaster strikes. The knights of the first two kingdoms are too hungover to fight. The old knight from the third kingdom is simply too old and weary to rise from his bed.

    So instead, the squires from all three kingdoms march into battle.

    The fighting lasts all day and well into the night. When the dust finally settles, only one squire remains standing: the squire from the third kingdom.

    And that just goes to show you that: The squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.