I bought some birdseed from Amazon, and the very next day they emailed asking for my feed back. Not cool.
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Too Much History Between Us
I was at the museum, and I suddenly saw my ex on the other side of the exhibition hall. I didn’t go and say hello though.
There was too much history between us.
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I Can’t Wait to Rub It In
I have been diagnosed with a rare condition and my doctor prescribed me some anti-gloating cream medication.
I can’t wait to rub it in.
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Which Vowel Is the Most Important
The other day, a friend and I had this long pointless argument as to which vowel is the most important.
I won.
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No Fuckin Chocolate
A customer walks into an ice cream shop and asks for a pint of chocolate ice cream.
The person behind the counter says, “I am sorry but we are out of chocolate ice cream, may I get you a different flavor?”
The customer thinks for a moment and asks for a quart of chocolate ice cream.
The person behind the counter says, “I am sorry but we are out of chocolate ice cream, we have no chocolate ice cream. Is there a different flavor that I can offer you?”
The customer thinks for a moment and asks for a half gallon of chocolate ice cream.
The worker’s jaw drops and they reflect on this for a moment, then ask the customer, “Can you spell the ‘van’ in vanilla?”
“What?” exclaims the customer. “What does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘van’ in vanilla.”
Skeptically the customer says, “Um, okay… V-A-N. But what does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘straw’ in strawberry.”
“What?” exclaims the customer. “What does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘straw’ in strawberry.”
Skeptically the customer says, “Um, okay… S-T-R-A-W. But what does that have to do—” The worker interrupts, “This will make sense in a moment if you spell the ‘fuck’ in chocolate.”
The customer thinks for a moment and exclaims, “There is no ‘fuck’ in chocolate!”
The worker replies, “Correct! That is what I have been trying to tell you — there is no fuckin’ chocolate.”
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I’ve Come a Long Way
It’s been 3 years since I started training for the ejaculation distance championships.
Since then I’ve come a long way.
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Only Sustained Light Injuries
I accidentally ran into a lamp post. Thankfully, I only sustained light injuries.
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More Than Red and Blue Combined
My least favourite colour is purple.
I dislike it more than red and blue combined.
