Last week, my girlfriend’s dog died. So to cheer her up I bought her an identical one. She was livid.
Yelled at me, “What the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs?”
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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A Stroke at Any Time
My doctor said I could masturbate as much as I want…
That’s what he meant when he said I could have a stroke at any time, right?
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Failed Sex Ed
Bobby and Jack got their report cards from school and found they failed sex ed…
Bobby told Jack, “I’m so angry, I want to kick Ms. Williams in the nuts!”
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The 30th Anniversary Dinner
A husband and wife are celebrating their 30th anniversary at a quiet romantic restaurant when a beautiful young woman walks up to their table, kisses the husband deeply on the lips, and says, “See you tomorrow, babe,” before strolling out.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
The Ex-Wife Tom Never Had
After a long courtship, Tom finally marries his longtime girlfriend. One day after the honeymoon, Tom is in the garage cleaning one of his hot rods for an upcoming show.
His wife comes out, watches Tom work for a few minutes, and says, “Honey, I’ve just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it’s time you quit spending all your time out here in the garage and you probably should just consider selling all your cars.”
Tom gets this absolutely horrified look on his face, and his wife says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”
Tom says, “I’m sorry. For a second there, you sounded exactly like my ex-wife.”
“Ex-wife!” she screams. “You never told me you were married before!”
And Tom says, “I wasn’t.”
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The Blonde and the Bet on the News
Jack walked into a sports bar late one evening and sat down next to a blonde woman watching the news.
The report was about a man standing on the edge of a tall building, about to jump.
The woman asked, “Do you think he’s going to jump?”
Jack replied, “I’m sure he will.”
“I’m sure he won’t,” she said.
Jack put down $30 and said, “You’re on.”
Just as she placed her money down, the man jumped and fell to his death.
The woman, upset, handed Jack her $30.
“Fair’s fair… here’s your money.”
Jack said, “I can’t take this. I saw the 5pm news earlier and I already knew he was going to jump.”
The blonde woman replied, “I saw it too. I just didn’t think he’d do it again.”
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Not a Single Piece of Straight Wood
Happy Pride Month to Home Depot!
There isn’t a single piece of straight wood in that place.
