You might think your kids hate bath time, but I guarantee you don’t have it half as bad as the Wicked Witch of the West’s parents did. R.M. Weinter/@rmfnord
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The hardest thing about the holidays is having to listen while Santa has sex with my wife.
The hardest thing about the holidays is having to listen while Santa has sex with my wife. Sure, you might think it’s just some guy in a Santa suit, but I know it’s really Santa because he always gives me a bottle of vodka with a bow on it after he’s done.
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The cool thing about religion is that when you need a better God, nobody’s stopping you
The cool thing about religion is that when you need a better God, nobody’s stopping you from making one up. /@b0nrmunky
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I was a bed wetter when I was a little kid, but I did it on purpose.
I was a bed wetter when I was a little kid, but I did it on purpose. I figured that even a monster wouldn’t want to live under a mattress that smells like piss.
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I think I may have done too many Kegels, because now I’m getting taint cramps.
I think I may have done too many Kegels, because now I’m getting taint cramps.
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I was visited by three ghosts this Christmas.
I was visited by three ghosts this Christmas. They were all family members, and technically they were all still alive, but I just find it comforting to imagine they’re already deceased.
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This bookstore has fantasy and self- improvement as two different sections.
This bookstore has fantasy and self- improvement as two different sections.
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For my management style, I prefer the carrot-or-stick method: I can either beat you with
For my management style, I prefer the carrot-or-stick method: I can either beat you with a stick, or beat you with a carrot.
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Women complain about the pain while giving birth.
Women complain about the pain while giving birth. Hey ladies, right about the time you stop having babies, I have to start paying some guy to stick a gloved finger up my ass every years for the rest of my life.
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Apparently, making love to your gin and tonic will get you thrown out of most bars, if
Apparently, making love to your gin and tonic will get you thrown out of most bars, if not arrested. Thanks for nothing, Billy Joel. R.M. Weiner
