This barista is so steaming and so hot she’s almost like a… like a… Dammit! I suck at metaphor. /@b0nrmunky
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I just had a great idea: the no-party surprise party!
I just had a great idea: the no-party surprise party! You get a bunch of people together at a friend’s house, turn the lights off, and hide. When they come home, you scare the bejeezus out them, then leave! Also, I guess you could leave them a cake or something to kind of make up for being jerks.
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Girl, you must be a McCafe mocha cuz you looked better in the ad, you’re not worth what
Girl, you must be a McCafe mocha cuz you looked better in the ad, you’re not worth what I paid, and afterward I’ll be nauseous and full of regret. /@rmfnord
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You’ll never guess what I killed in my bathroom this morning: virtually every living
You’ll never guess what I killed in my bathroom this morning: virtually every living thing within 20 feet.
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I would totally stop bitching about where my jetpack is if they could just get the
I would totally stop bitching about where my jetpack is if they could just get the propeller beanie to work right. /@rmfnord
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Yet another manifestation of the Creator’s wicked sense of humor: MY genitalia does not
Yet another manifestation of the Creator’s wicked sense of humor: MY genitalia does not get 25% larger each time we have a kid.
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I’m thinking about getting a nose job.
I’m thinking about getting a nose job. I’ll smell anything for money.
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When I visited sick kids as a baseball player, I always promised them I’d hit one or two
When I visited sick kids as a baseball player, I always promised them I’d hit one or two bars before the game and knock down a few beers.
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I bet it pisses off the Lenape Indians when they see how many beads drunk girls get at
I bet it pisses off the Lenape Indians when they see how many beads drunk girls get at Mardi Gras just for showing their tits.
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I tried to drop acid once, but got mixed up and took LDS instead.
I tried to drop acid once, but got mixed up and took LDS instead. Now I’ve got six wives and am spending all my time trying to recruit. BAD TRIP. /@rmfnord
