*RING* “Hello?” “What’s up?” “Aw, man, I was right in the middle of masturbating.” “Then why’d you answer?” “I thought it might be my mom.”
Format: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
“STOP BLOWING IT FOR EVERYONE!!” I yelled at the fluffer on the
“STOP BLOWING IT FOR EVERYONE!!” I yelled at the fluffer on the set of our “Addams Family” themed porno.
-
“Fuck!” -Misaki, age 8 “Fuck!” -Yuuto, 7 “FUCK!” -Takaya, 8
“Fuck!” -Misaki, age 8 “Fuck!” -Yuuto, 7 “FUCK!” -Takaya, 8 Teaching the English word FORK to Japanese kids is hard.
-
I tell people to have a nice fucking day, unless they’re one of
I tell people to have a nice fucking day, unless they’re one of my pornstar friends. Then I like to tell them to have a nice day fucking.
-
Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can
Regarding being accused of masturbating in the shower: I can tell you that the fact my wife’s conditioner looks like semen has bailed me out on more than one occasion.
-
During my sermon last Sunday, there was lots of screaming,
During my sermon last Sunday, there was lots of screaming, shitting and masturbating. Last time I preach to monkeys at the zoo.
-
I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I
I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I remembered gay men are men, too, like me. Yesterday I put my dick in a tree stump.
-
I went on a date with a woman everyone knows is promiscuous. It
I went on a date with a woman everyone knows is promiscuous. It felt like waiting 3 hours in line to go on a ride at Disneyland.
-
She laughed when she realized it’s “condom” not “condiment,” but
She laughed when she realized it’s “condom” not “condiment,” but she’s not the one with mustard burns on her pecker.
-
My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make
My wife suggested we start sleeping with other people to make our sex lives more exciting, so I asked her how many other guys she planned on having sex with while she’s married to me. Her reply: “Retroactively, or from this point forward?”
