Setup-punchline comedy formats, jokes, memes, and punchlines organized for easier doom-scrolling from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A pair of drop-dead gorgeous female Siamese twins who were joined at the hip saw the ad for the concert in the local paper. One of them said, “Hey, Tom Jones is in town! How would you like to go and see him?” They agreed to go, hoping they might get to meet him.
There was a Mexican magician. He said he’d disappear on the count of three. He said uno, dos, *poof*… he disappeared without a tres.
A guy is having trouble getting women’s attention at the beach. He tells the lifeguard:
“I’ve walked past every woman on this beach and none of them so much as glance my way. I’m even wearing my best Speedo to show off all the work I’ve put in at the gym. I don’t know what else to do.”
The lifeguard says, “Oh, that’s easy! Just put a potato in your Speedo and you’ll have all their eyes glued on you. Trust me.”
So the next day he does just that, and then goes to see the lifeguard:
“Hey man, so I did get a lot of looks, but not quite what I was expecting. They all looked completely disgusted and appalled, and not turned on at all.”
So the lifeguard looks down at his waist area:
“Okay, well, I guess I should have specified — you have to put the potato in the front of your Speedo.”
Nothing can burst your fatherly bubble faster than hearing your daughter come home from a date and saying, “Some nights I don’t know why I even bother to wear panties.”
So a girl is going to marry a Greek fellow. The night before the wedding, the girl’s dad takes her aside and says, “Honey, I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll just say it. If he ever asks you to turn over, you don’t have to.”
So they get married. Sure enough, about six months later, the Greek guy asks the girl to turn over.
“You know,” she says, “my dad told me I don’t have to turn over if I don’t want to.”
“Whatsa matter?” says the Greek guy. “Don’t you wanna have kids?”
What’s grey and comes in pints?
An elephant.
Three explorers crash-land their plane on an uncharted tropical island. The isolationist islanders promptly capture the three survivors and put them on trial for trespassing. Surprisingly, the grand chief of the island speaks broken English.
What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?
You get kicked out of the petting zoo!
