Did you hear that the CEO of Ikea was just elected president of Sweden?
He is still assembling his cabinet.
Joke Type: absurdist
Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Making Headlines Everywhere
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines everywhere!
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His Mourning Coffee
What is the funeral director’s favourite drink?
He can’t start his day without his mourning coffee.
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Doctors Have Described His Condition as Stable
BREAKING NEWS: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
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Genealogist vs Gynecologist
What’s the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
One looks up your family tree. The other looks up your family bush.
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Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper
I couldn’t sleep last night because I realized Winnie the Pooh and Jack the Ripper have the same middle names.
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Bad Brakes Have Never Stopped Me Before
It’s probably not safe for me to be driving right now.
But, hey, bad brakes have never stopped me before.
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One Man’s Junk Is Another Man’s Treasure
Why are gay dating sites so popular?
Because one man’s junk is another man’s treasure.
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Asking for My Feed Back
I bought some birdseed from Amazon, and the very next day they emailed asking for my feed back. Not cool.
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Too Much History Between Us
I was at the museum, and I suddenly saw my ex on the other side of the exhibition hall. I didn’t go and say hello though.
There was too much history between us.
