Joke Type: absurdist

Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Until Someone Loses an I

    I saw a group of kids throwing Scrabble tiles at each other.

    It’s all fun and games until someone loses an I.

  • Came Out of the Closet This Morning

    Someone told me my clothes were gay.

    I said, “Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning.”

  • A Ham-Brrr-Grrr

    What do you call a pig that is cold and growling?

    A Ham-Brrr-Grrr.

  • She Really Means Well

    My wife just yelled that I should “fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth filled with water and die.”

    I know she really means well.

  • Consumed by His Own Pride

    Did you hear about the arrogant lion tamer?

    He was consumed by his own pride.

  • Just Stationery

    I can’t figure out why my paper airplane won’t take off…

    I guess it’s just stationery.

  • Before the Crowbar Was Invented

    True fact:

    Before the crowbar was invented…
    …most crows drank at home.

  • To Beat the Crowd

    Why do riot police go to work so early?

    To beat the crowd.

  • It Just Rolls Off the Tongue

    My favourite word is drool.

    It just rolls off the tongue.

  • Filled It With Spring Water

    My ditzy neighbor bought a waterbed and said it was way more bouncy than he expected…

    He said, “I’m guessing it’s because I filled it with spring water.”