Joke Type: absurdist

Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Asleep Eat Spiders

    Asleep Eat Spiders

  • Helen Keller Orgy

    Helen Keller Orgy

    Helen Keller at her first orgy, circa 1900 colorized

  • Texans Snow Property

    Texans Snow Property

    Texans demanding that the snow get off their property.

  • Newton Invented Gravity

    Newton Invented Gravity

    DID YOU KNOW?

    Before Isaac Newton invented gravity in 1869, people could fly

  • Elmo Sesame Street

    Elmo Sesame Street

    Elmo knows better than to question a man who just tore off half of his friend’s head to wear as a hat. There’s no place for weakness on the Sesame Street.

  • WD40 DA-WN Flowchart

    WD40 DA-WN Flowchart

    DOES IT MOVE?

    No – Should it? No – No Problem

    Yes – Should it? Yes – No Problem

    No – WD-40

    DA-WN

  • Send To Back Bus

    Send To Back Bus

    Cut Copy Paste Change Picture… Group Bring to Front Send to Back Hyperlink… Save as Picture… Size and Position… Send to Back Send Backward

  • Ms Jackson Four Eels

    Ms Jackson Four Eels

    I’m sorry Ms. Jackson (ooo)

    I am four eels

    Never meant to make your daughter cry

    BABY WAIT

    I am several fish and not a guy

  • Toilet Paper Cardboard

    Toilet Paper Cardboard

    Runs out of toilet paper

    Helpful redditors: This poor fella is doing it all wrong. Ya just stick the cardboard roll up your ass and poop thru the tube so no shit ever touches your butthole.

    My genius has come alive.

  • Coronavirus Squirrel Ass

    Coronavirus Squirrel Ass

    Coronavirus panic day 3: I was forced to catch a squirrel today, not for food, I just used it to wipe my ass… It was not happy