Joke Type: absurdist

Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • More Than Red and Blue Combined

    My least favourite colour is purple.

    I dislike it more than red and blue combined.

  • I Just Don’t See It

    My friend thinks that a woman in camouflage is really sexy.

    I just don’t see it.

  • Up to My Chin Should Do It

    A man goes to a dermatologist with a rare skin disease. The doctor says, “Try a milk bath.”

    So the guy goes to the grocery store and tells the dairy manager he needs enough milk to take a bath. The dairy guy asks, “You want that pasteurized?”

    “Nah,” the man replies. “Up to my chin should do it.”

  • Does It Take Time to Develop

    Are people born with a photographic memory?

    Or does it take time to develop?

  • Hoping I Can Pull It Off

    Once again I’ve entered the annual tightest hat competition in our town.

    This year I’m just hoping… that I can pull it off.

  • Digging in Her Heels

    A guy tells his buddy, “I’ve had enough of my wife. Today I told her that what she’s wearing isn’t appropriate for gardening.”

    “What happened?” his buddy asks. “Did she listen?”

    And the guy says, “Nope. She’s digging in her heels.”

  • Until Someone Loses an I

    I saw a group of kids throwing Scrabble tiles at each other.

    It’s all fun and games until someone loses an I.

  • Came Out of the Closet This Morning

    Someone told me my clothes were gay.

    I said, “Yeah, they came out of the closet this morning.”

  • A Ham-Brrr-Grrr

    What do you call a pig that is cold and growling?

    A Ham-Brrr-Grrr.

  • She Really Means Well

    My wife just yelled that I should “fall in a pit or hole sunk into the earth filled with water and die.”

    I know she really means well.