[doctor looking at my xrays]
doctor: this is exactly what i was afraid of
me: what
doctor: skeletons
Joke Type: absurdist
Absurdist jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Or Get the Hose Again
ROSES ARE FOR VASES
LOTION’S FOR THE SKIN
YOU WILL BE MY VALENTINE
OR GET THE HOSE AGAIN. -
Small Pinch
DOCTOR: ur gonna feel a small pinch
ME: ouch
DOCTOR: alright I’m done pinching u, tell me why ur here
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Incomplete Download
I think my porn was not completely downloaded
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She Was a Mathmachicken
I had a hen who could count her own eggs.
She was a mathmachicken.
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It Just Kept Ringing
I called the tinnitus hotline yesterday.
It just kept ringing.
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Still Assembling His Cabinet
Did you hear that the CEO of Ikea was just elected president of Sweden?
He is still assembling his cabinet.
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Making Headlines Everywhere
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows?
They’re making headlines everywhere!
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His Mourning Coffee
What is the funeral director’s favourite drink?
He can’t start his day without his mourning coffee.
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Doctors Have Described His Condition as Stable
BREAKING NEWS: A man was admitted to the hospital today with 25 plastic toy horses inserted in his rectum.
Doctors have described his condition as stable.
