I don’t know about trees, but when I was alone in the forest and I fell down, I made a lot of loud swearing sounds.
Joke Type: anecdotal
Anecdotal jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Rose, What Was the Name of the Restaurant?
Two older gentlemen are chatting after dinner while their wives are in the kitchen.
“We had a lovely meal at that new restaurant in town the other night,” said one to the other.
“That’s nice,” said his friend. “What was the name of the restaurant?”
“Oh, what’s the name of the lovely scented flower that grows on a thorny plant?”
“Rose?” replied the friend.
“That’s it.” Then, turning toward the kitchen, the gentleman called out, “Rose, what was the name of the restaurant the other night?”
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The Gynaecologist
A beautiful, sassy lady got into a compartment where three men were seated. They were staring at her. She said if they gave one dollar each, she would show her legs.
Immediately, three dollars fell onto her lap.
She lifted her dress to her knees. Indeed, the legs were nice.
Then she said, “Five dollars each, I’ll show my thighs.” Came fifteen dollars, and she lifted her dress high up till her panties.
Then the bomb came.
“Thirty dollars each, I will show where my gynaecologist operated on me.”
Salivating, the three men gave the money.
A station was nearing and the train slowed down. She showed the hospital next to the station — “This is where my gynaecologist operated on me” — and got off the train.
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The Egg Timer
This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast. As I walked in, she turned to me and said, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!” My eyes lit up and I thought, “This is my lucky day!”
Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn’t waste any time at all — I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table!
Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the stove.
More than a little puzzled, I asked, “What was that all about?”
She giggled, “The egg timer’s broken.”
