I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society.
They really didn’t like it when I spilled the beans.
Joke Type: bait and switch
Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Keep Dreaming Buddy
Called my boss this morning, asked him if I could come in late today because I’m super tired. He said, “Keep dreaming buddy.”
Which was super nice and unexpected of him.
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Well I’m Here Now
A member of the KGB is walking along a production line in a factory and decides to ask a few questions of one of the workers.
KGB: “Comrade, if you had a drink of vodka, could you still perform your appointed tasks?”
The worker thinks a bit and replies, “Yes, I think so.”
KGB: “Comrade, if you had five drinks of vodka, could you still perform your appointed tasks?”
The worker again considers this a bit and again replies, “Yes, I think so.”
KGB: “Comrade, if you had ten drinks of vodka, could you still perform your appointed tasks?”
The worker answers quickly, “Well, I’m here now…”
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Absolute Game Changer
I’ve recently switched from eating venison to eating pheasant.
Absolute game changer.
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The Nudist Colony and the Dropped Cigar
There’s an old man who is considering joining a nudist colony, so he goes there to find out what it’s like. The person at the front desk tells him he is welcome to try it out before he joins. He takes his clothes off and goes for a walk. After a while he takes a seat on a bench, sees a very attractive woman go by, and gets an erection. She notices and stops and gives him one of the best blow jobs he’s ever had. He immediately goes back to the front desk and signs up.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
A Blonde and Her BMW
A blonde pulls her BMW into the parking lot of a mechanic’s shop because it was making some racket.
The mechanic pops open the hood and tinkers around a bit.
Blonde: “Well, what’s wrong with it?”
Mechanic: “Ah, just crap in the engine.”
Blonde: “How often do I have to do that?”
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Wouldnt Watch That If I Were You
look what I found in my mother’s room
Aye man, I wouldn’t watch that if I were you
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The Deaf Mute Parents
A young man, out on the tiles with his mates, spies the girl of his dreams across a dance floor. Having admired her from afar, he finally gets up the courage to talk to her. Everything goes better than expected and she agrees to accompany him on a date the following Saturday evening.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
Her Mum Died Too
A blonde goes to work in tears.
Her boss asks, “What’s wrong?”
She says, “My mum died.” He told her to go home, but she said, “No, I’ll be fine.”Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, “What’s wrong?” She replies, “I just talked to my sister, and her mum died, too!”
