Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • This Is Exactly What I Was Afraid Of

    This Is Exactly What I Was Afraid Of

    [doctor looking at my xrays]

    doctor: this is exactly what i was afraid of

    me: what

    doctor: skeletons

  • Watt Is Love

    Watt Is Love

    Watt is love?
    Baby don’t herz me
    don’t herz me
    no morse

  • Or Get the Hose Again

    Or Get the Hose Again

    ROSES ARE FOR VASES
    LOTION’S FOR THE SKIN
    YOU WILL BE MY VALENTINE
    OR GET THE HOSE AGAIN.

  • Still No Idea

    Still No Idea

    WHAT DO YOU CALL A DEER WITH NO EYES?

    NO IDEA

    AND NO LEGS

    STILL NO IDEA

  • Small Pinch

    Small Pinch

    DOCTOR: ur gonna feel a small pinch

    ME: ouch

    DOCTOR: alright I’m done pinching u, tell me why ur here

  • Professional Hide-and-Seek Tournament

    I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.

  • Three Tons of Hair Stolen from Wig Factory

    Three tons of hair was stolen from a wig factory.

    Police are combing the area.

  • The Country Boy’s Three-Leg Riddle

    A cocky lawyer tells a country boy, “If you can’t answer my question, you owe me $5. If I can’t answer yours, I owe you $5,000.”

    The boy asks: “What has three legs going up a hill, but five legs coming down?”

    The lawyer searches the internet for an hour, gives up, and hands the boy $5,000.

    “Alright,” the lawyer snaps, “so what is it?”

    The boy silently hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Patrick With Them Two Arseholes

    Patrick died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly. So the morgue needed someone to identify the body. His two best friends, Seamus and Sean, were sent for.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet.

    Seamus said, “Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.”

    So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said, “Nope, it ain’t Patrick.”

    The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body.

    Sean took a look at him and said, “Yup, he’s burnt real bad, roll him over.”

    The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, “No, it ain’t Patrick.”

    The mortician asked, “How can you tell?”

    Sean said, “Well, Patrick had two arseholes.”

    “What? He had two arseholes?” asked the mortician.

    “Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, ‘Here comes Patrick with them two arseholes…’”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail

  • Not Her Father

    At a wedding last weekend, I leaned over to the person beside me and whispered, “Wow… the bride isn’t exactly easy on the eyes.”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    They turned to me and said, “Excuse me? That’s my daughter!”

    I quickly replied, “I’m so sorry… I didn’t realize you were her father.”

    “I’m not her father, you idiot,” they snapped. “I’m her mother!”

    Share:TwitterFacebookLinkedinRedditWhatsappEmail