Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t

    You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t even in the room!

  • “Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in

    “Gary? Why are you installing side-by-side claw-foot bathtubs in the yard?” “Read the fine print on the Cialis box, Karen.”

  • Point of clarification: I wasn’t saying to literally grab women

    Point of clarification: I wasn’t saying to literally grab women by the vagina, I just meant grab them by the crotch area. Lying media = unfair!

  • Not What It Looks Like

    So a girl walks in and catches her boyfriend masturbating to an optical illusion. “What the hell are you doing?” she screams.

    And he says, “Honey, it’s not what it looks like.”

  • Human DNA + Goat DNA

    What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

    You get kicked out of the petting zoo!

  • Nine Volt Battery

    What’s the difference between a nine-volt battery and a butthole?

    Everyone knows not to stick their tongue on a nine-volt battery.

  • Cockatoo

    Do you happen to own a parrot?

    ‘Cause you look like you could handle a cockatoo.

  • Same T-Shirt

    At the party last night, there was a girl wearing the same T-shirt as me.

    It was a tight fit, but we managed.

  • Magic Relationship

    Wife wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.

    But I don’t think sawing her in half was what she was thinking.