I gave my wife an orgasm yesterday…
…but she spit it out.
Joke Type: bait and switch
Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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She spit it out
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Pump number 5
I got robbed today and called the police.
The cop asked if I had a description of the assailant.
I said, “Yeah, it’s pump number 5.” -
Farting in the Fast Lane!
A woman walks into a car dealership to browse around, not really planning to buy anything. In the showroom, she sees a beautiful convertible with a leather interior. She reaches down to touch the seat and accidentally lets a fart go.
To her terror, she looks up and sees a salesman heading her way. Hoping he didn’t hear her, she plays it cool and says, “Excuse me, how much is this car? I’m thinking of purchasing it for my husband.”
The salesman says, “Lady, if you farted from touching the leather, you’re gonna shit when you hear the price.”
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Finding Happiness After Twenty Years Together
My husband and I were happy for 20 years.
And then we met. -
When Jokes Turn Serious: The Singing Saga
I thought my wife was joking when she said she’d leave me if I didn’t stop singing “I’m a Believer.”
Then I saw her face. -
Grief Lessons: Good Counsel, No Tears
My grief councillor died last week.
Luckily for me, though, he was very good at his job, because I really don’t give a shit.
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Between Marathons and Sprints: My Mixed Race Upbringing
My father ran the marathon but my mother ran the 100 meter dash so I grew up with mixed race parents.
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Polish Women: Monthly Challenges and GED Tests
What’s long, hard and given to most Polish Women at Least once a month?
A GED Test
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Wedding Night Woes: The Long Last Name
What’s long, hard to get your tongue around, and given to a Polish woman by her husband on her wedding night?
His last name. -
Dating Nostalgia: A Dinner with a Twist!
My wife complained that I don’t treat her like I did when we were dating.
So I took her to dinner and dropper her off at her parent’s house.
