A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink…
Joke Type: bait and switch
Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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The Amish Family and the Elevator
An Amish husband, wife, and son travel to the city on vacation.
While the mother shops, the father and son stand in awe in front of an elevator, having no idea what it is.
As they watch, an elderly woman slowly walks into the strange silver doors. The doors close, and the father and son watch the numbers light up as the elevator rises… then pauses, and comes back down.
A moment later, the doors open and a beautiful young woman steps out.
The son stares in amazement and asks, “Dad… what just happened?”
The father leans over and whispers, “I’m not sure, son… but quick, go get your mother!”
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Left Another Accordion
I left my car unattended with my accordion on view in the front passenger seat. When I got back, someone had broken into my car
and left another accordion.
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The Juggler’s DUI Test
A juggler is driving to his next performance when he gets pulled over by the police.
The officer spots some matches and lighter fluid in the car and asks, “What’s all this for?”
“I’m a juggler,” the man says. “I juggle flaming torches in my act.”
The cop looks skeptical. “Oh yeah? Let’s see it.”
So the juggler gets out of the car and starts expertly juggling flaming torches on the side of the road.
The cop stands by, watching intently.
Meanwhile, a passing couple slows down to watch.
“Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m so glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!”
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The Escort and the Stripper
Son: “So, Dad… why the heck did Mom kick you out of the house?”
Dad: “Well, Son, it’s crazy, she overheard me on the phone with Uncle Mike talking about running some errands.”
Son: “What errands?”
Dad: “Mike was going to pick up a used car, and I was heading to the store for a tool to strip paint off some furniture.”
Son: “What’s wrong with that? That doesn’t sound so bad…”
Dad: “Yeah… I know, but all your mum heard was, ‘You go get the Escort, I’ll grab the stripper, and we’ll meet at your place.’”
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The Catholic Dog
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside except for a pet dog he had for a long time.
The dog finally died and Muldoon went to the parish priest, saying, “Father, my dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick told the farmer, “No, we can’t have services for an animal in the church, but I’ll tell you what, there’s a new denomination down the road apiece, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they’ll do something for the animal.”
Muldoon said, “I’ll go right now. By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?”
Father Patrick replied, “Why didn’t you tell me the dog was Catholic?”
