Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Military Family Tradition

    On the first day of boot camp, a US Army drill instructor lined up his recruits.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “I’m curious as to how many of you come from military families. Did anyone in your family serve?” He points at one recruit.

    “Yes sir!” The recruit answers. “My father served in Iraq during the War on Terror.”

    “Good,” says the D.I. “What about you?” He points at another recruit.

    “Yes sir!” The recruit answers. “My grandfather served in Desert Storm.”

    “Good,” says the D.I. “What about you?” He points at another recruit.

    “Yes sir!” The recruit answers. “My great-great grandfather fought at Normandy!”

    “Ah, the finest day in the history of the United States military,” the D.I. says. “1st Infantry? 82nd Airborne?”

    “No sir,” the recruit answers. “The 21st Panzer division.”

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  • Ants in Your Pants

    What’s worse than ants in your pants?

    Uncles.

  • A Corvette and a Dead Hooker

    What’s the difference between a Corvette and a dead hooker?

    I don’t have a Corvette in my garage.

  • The Difference Between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson

    What was the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

    Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucked kids.

  • A 9-Volt Battery and an Asshole

    What does a 9-volt battery and an asshole have in common?

    If you lick it, and nothing happens, it’s probably dead.

  • Locking Your Keys in Your Car at an Abortion Clinic

    What’s more embarrassing than locking your keys in your car at an abortion clinic?

    Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

  • Shower Sex

    I hate shower sex.

    It’s slippery, awkward, and one of the worst things about prison.

  • They Finished Your Mom’s Dildo

    They Finished Your Mom’s Dildo

    They finished your mom’s dildo.

  • This Corner Available

    This Corner Available

    Oh look — this corner available. Your mom quit her job.

  • Sick Duck

    Sick Duck

    What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One’s a sick duck and I can’t remember how it ends, but your mother’s a whore.