Joke Type: bait and switch

Bait and switch jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.

  • Sleeping Bag

    You ever get laid in a sleeping bag? It’s awful.

    You can’t ever move, you’re drenched in sweat, and your scout master is covering your mouth.

  • OnlyFans Account

    My wife paid off our house and vehicles with her OnlyFans account.

    She’s gonna freak when she finds out she has an OnlyFans account.

  • Sound Advice

    My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.

    “It’s worth spending money on good speakers,” he told me.

  • My master’s in Reverse Psychology

    You guys really shouldn’t make a big deal out of me just because I got my master’s in Reverse Psychology.

  • I didn’t think it hurt that much

    I said to my wife, “They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience…”
    “Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn’t think it hurt that much.”

  • Parking fine

    A traffic cop went to the trouble of leaving a note under the wipers to let me know I’d positioned my car correctly…
    It said, “Parking fine.” So that was nice.

  • Those are just contractions

    A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
    “Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”

  • Now they have cameras everywhere

    When I was young, you could go to the grocery store with two dollars in your pocket and come out with a loaf of bread, two dozen eggs, and a pound of butter.
    Now, they have cameras everywhere.

  • Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball

    What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Land Rover?

    Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball over 300 yards.

  • And then I saw her face

    When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
    And then I saw her face…